Friday, December 12, 2014

Back to life; Back to reality

This week I returned to the working world.  Just for two days.  Just a taste; and it was delicious!  For two weeks leading up, I was anxious…so worried it almost consumed me.  It was my own personal D-Day…so much preparation, so much fear.  I was short with Eric, stressed about everything and just nervous.  Would I remember how to scale and polish and socialize with people older than say 8 weeks old?  Yes, yes and yes.  Would I accidentally break out in only-Leo-loves-it-song with my horrible singing voice in front of my patients?  No.  Would I be uncomfortably engorged and leak onto my scrub top much to the amusement of those around me?  No.  But I did cry (no real surprise for those who know me) and I cried a lot the day before and some the morning before I left Leo for the first time at my Mom’s.  Mostly, I put on my big girl pants, as we say around here, smiled and braved my way though the first day back.  Like riding a bike, it all came flooding back, and in some ways it felt like I never left.  My first patient came in gift in tow for Leo, and it all just felt right.  I love our Leo so very much and I thought of him a lot while I was working those 8 hours, but it was nice to feel like this part of my was still alive and well and I hope I’m a better mom for going back.  Today is my first day home again with him and I’m loving all of the snuggling and smiles.  He just wants me to hold him and hold him for hours and I have because I can.  It does my heart good to know he still loves me and knows I love him right back.  How very blessed I am.  PS Working day two I came home to a homecooked meal that I didn’t even thaw out, prep ahead of time, or plan…heaven.  Thank you Eric for your support!

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